Redefining Anger as an Appropriate Emotion

Anger is a powerful and often misunderstood emotion. It can be both destructive and beneficial, depending on how we react to it. What happens when we ignore anger? What's the best way to deal with anger? It really depends on our personality type, but there are some general guidelines that will work for most of us.

The Risks Of Ignoring The Anger Your Body Is Trying To Feel

When we ignore the anger our body is trying to communicate to us, we can end up doing a lot of damage. We may bottle up our anger and then lash out at someone else in an uncontrolled outburst. This can cause relationships to break down, and it can also lead to physical violence. Anger can also cause us to make bad decisions, such as getting into a car accident or verbally attacking someone we care about. Needles to say, these are not healthy ways to release anger.

We need to learn how to deal with anger in a positive way

To manage anger, we need to understand what's going on inside our body and the possible triggers that create this feeling of anger. We also have to figure out where our anger comes from so we can communicate the correct message when it is triggered. Once we know these things, we can begin practicing different strategies for dealing with angry feelings instead of suppressing them or letting them explode all over someone else without thinking about possible consequences.

Experiment With How You Respond To See What Works For you

When you're feeling angry, experiment with different ways of responding. Try writing how you feel down in a journal or talking about your feelings with someone you trust. If you can let yourself feel your anger by doing something physical like hitting a pillow or exercising, you can start to release some of the emotional energy accumulating in your body. Just make sure to use healthy ways of dealing with anger so you don't end up hurting yourself or anyone else.

If attempting to change doesn't seem appealing, try letting yourself feel truly furious for 15-30 minutes and then put your feelings away for another time. You can become angry about something you have no control over or use your anger as a way to motivate yourself into doing something productive, like cleaning the house or exercising. We need to let ourselves feel anger at times because it is one of our body's best warning signals that there is an issue that needs to be addressed.

Doing this allows us to look inward and find where our feelings are coming from so we can healthily deal with them. One important thing to remember is to put limits on how much time you spend expressing these angry feelings because it could hurt others if you do not set boundaries. Try getting help from someone who has experience dealing with angry people if you think this might be a problem for you.

How Anger Works Inside Your Body

Understanding how anger works inside our body gives us more control over what we choose to do with it. We don't need to act out on every negative emotion; sometimes it might be better to give ourselves time to mull over what is bothering us so we can choose the best way to get rid of it. If you are feeling too overwhelmed or confused by intense feelings, try turning to something positive for comfort. Spending some time with pets or children who are full of energy can help distract you from your anger and bring you back down to earth.

Understanding our emotions gives us more power over them, which means we can productively deal with them instead of letting negative feelings rule our lives. Sometimes acting on these emotions will only make things worse , but other times they will motivate us into doing something that will actually solve the problem at hand.

Letting Your Body Feel Angry Can Help You Take Action Towards Change

Anger acts as a stimulant that helps motivate us into taking some kind of action. It is a reminder that something isn't ideal, and we need to work on changing it. It is a signpost that lets us know when we aren't happy with something in the world around us, which means we should be working on improving it.

Can You Do Something To Change The Situation?

If the source of your anger is something that can be changed, like a situation or circumstance, then take action: Talk about what's bothering you with someone who might be able to help (a close friend or family member). If you are upset with a person, be open to listening to what they have to say.

Ask yourself if the situation is really worth getting mad about or if there is an area where you need to step up do some work instead of resigning yourself to an unfavorable situation. Anger is like a fuel that can help us overcome the perceived pain of dealing with something that we need to deal with.

What To Do With Anger When Nothing Can Be Done To Change The Situation

If nothing can change what has happened or who is upsetting you, then let the anger dissipate on its own. Accept things for how they are and try not to dwell on what might have been, could be, or should be. Sometimes we just need to "know" that things will work out without actually knowing how we know this! This may seem difficult at first because your instinct might tell you that everything would be better if only X had happened instead of Y. Then again, maybe everything really would be worse! Of course it's a good idea to try and do things that will help you feel better in a difficult situation, like going for a walk or calling a friend.

Breath-Work Works Wonders With Anger

Dr. John Schinnerer, author of 'Anger: Taming the Beast Within', says that deep breathing can work wonders when you're feeling angry because it helps slow down your body's stress response. If you practice this technique for 10 minutes whenever you become angry, within a few weeks you'll have an easier time dealing with anger in the moment by bringing your heart rate from 100 to 80 beats per minute. This is because when we get angry there is also increased activity in our nervous system and muscles (e.g., cortisol levels increase), and these cause symptoms like a rapid heartbeat which make us feel stressed and overwhelmed.

What You Resist Persists Until Processed

Sometimes it's hard to deal with anger because we don't want to admit or acknowledge that we are angry, but this is usually a sign that the feeling is too difficult for us to process by ourselves. If your anger tends to be explosive, it can help to talk things out with someone else.

As scary as it is for some people (due to past experiences with lashing out), letting yourself feel your anger to find peace within yourself can make a difference. So try talking about how you're feeling; if doing so makes you angry at first, then ask somebody who cares about you (and whom you trust) to listen without judgment while you vent or rage against what happened. 

The benefits of anger as an emotion

Anger can be a powerful motivator, and it can give us a sense of power and control. It can also help us feel connected to others, as we often feel anger in response to things that we perceive as being unjust or unfair. Anger serves as a warning signal that something is wrong and needs to be addressed.

When we learn how to deal with anger healthily, it can help us feel better in difficult situations. We can use deep breathing to calm our bodies and try to think things through before taking any action. It's also important to talk about how we're feeling, as this can help dissipate the anger over time. By acknowledging our anger, we are taking the first step towards managing it healthily.

Processing Your Emotions, Including Anger Can Prevent It From Getting Out of Control

While it's usually unhelpful to hold onto anger toward people, understanding our feelings can help us gain control over them. If something needs changing, like a situation or circumstance, then take action: try talking about what is bothering you with someone who might be able to help (a close friend or family member). If the source of your anger is another person, try not to dwell on how things could be better; instead, make an effort to listen and understand what they have to say. 

You Feel The Way You Feel For a Reason

Sometimes it's difficult to deal with anger because we don't want to admit that we're feeling this way; but even if doing so makes us angry at first, venting or raging against the issue can make a difference

Refusing to allow yourself to feel what you were actually feeling can lead to emotions essentially becoming stuck in the body. These unprocessed emotions tend to find a way to leak out or to get our attention at the most inconvenient times.

Being angry is an innate part of being human. If you weren't supposed to feel anger, you wouldn't. Nature has a way of removing that which serves no purpose and the very fact that you have emotions, like anger, means that they serve a purpose in your life and that they are designed to assist you in surviving.

If your anger tends to be aggressive, it can help talk things through with someone else and to learn how to release the energy from your body in a safe, healthy way.

How to deal with anger in a healthy way

Anger is a powerful emotion that can sometimes feel overwhelming. It can be hard to know how to deal with anger in a healthy way, but there are some things that can help.

Acknowledge How You Are Feeling

Acknowledging your anger by saying "I'm angry" or "I am feeling angry right now" is an important first step; you need to simply recognize and acknowledge your anger before you can decide how to handle it. 

Safely Express How You Are Feeling

The second step is to find a way to express your anger safely. Expressing your anger in a way that doesn't involve hurting yourself or others is important. This might mean writing down your thoughts and feelings, punching a pillow, or screaming into a pillow. It's important to find a way to safely release the anger so that you can move on on the next step.

Anger Can Actually Be A Positive Way To Connect With Others

You can use your anger to help empathize with other people who are going through similar situations. Instead of trying to suppress the feeling, let yourself feel angry and then share what you're going through with someone else in a healthy, productive way. If this person is also experiencing feelings of anger or has gone through something similar, these feelings will help create an instant connection between the two of you. It's important to make sure both people are aware of where their feelings are coming from so they know how to best deal with them together.

If you can find someone who has experienced something similar and managed to grow from it, they might have some useful insight that will help you deal with your situation. Expressing anger in front of positive people can motivate them into helping us solve our problems so we no longer need to feel angry.

Explore What's Driving You To Feel Angry

The third step is to understand why you're feeling angry. Understanding why you're feeling angry takes some self-reflection, but doing this work will help you figure out what's causing your anger and how best to address it.

Once you know what's causing your anger, you can start to address it. Maybe there's something you need to change in your life, or maybe there's something you need to say or do to the person who's made you angry.

Sometimes, Anger Acts As A 'Cover Emotion'

Of course, you may have trouble accessing the reasons why you were actually angry if your mind is using anger as a 'cover emotion' to protect you from feeling other emotions, or if the anger is reached a level at which you need to physically release it from your body in a safe way so that you can calm down enough to get access to what has triggered you.

Deal With The Triggers

The final step of dealing with anger in a healthy way is learning how to prevent the same triggers from sending you into a spiral the next time they occur. 

Identifying the triggers and figuring out how to remove the emotional charge they create will pull you out of the loop that they create (e.g. trigger > anger > reaction > cleanup > repeat). A lot of the work I do with clients involves guiding them through processes that removes the control their triggers have over their lives, which then allows them to operate from a place of choice instead of a place of reaction or obligation.

Deal With Irritation Before It Becomes Anger

We have spent a good deal of time talking about anger and how to deal with it, but one of the best ways to deal with it is to prevent it before it happens in the first place. Irritation is a precursor to anger and if you learn how to identify and deal with irritation, you can nip the problem in the bud before it escalates.

Irritation Is a Warning Sign of Anger To Come

When we feel irritated, it's often a sign that something is wrong. Maybe we're feeling overwhelmed or stressed, or maybe someone has crossed a boundary that we don't feel comfortable with. It's important to deal with irritation in a healthy way, before it turns into anger.

Here are a few tips for dealing with irritation:

1. Acknowledge how you're feeling.

2. Take a few deep breaths and relax your body.

3. Try to identify the cause of the irritation.

4. Address the cause of the irritation in a constructive way.

5. If necessary, take some time for yourself to calm down.


Anger is a natural emotion that can be helpful in many ways. Anger, when dealt with constructively and productively, has the potential to motivate people into action or provide them with a sense of power and control. It also serves as a warning sign that something needs to be addressed-it's important not to let anger turn into aggression but rather deal with it before it gets out of hand.

Are You a Visionary, C-Suite Exec, or Leader?

If you are a business leader, CEO, C-Suite Executive, King, or Queen and you need help dealing with the anger in your own life or business, schedule a discovery call today!

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